I was talking to a client a while ago about how easy it is to replace one rigid behaviour with another one. How easy it is to, the moment we start working on ourselves, dive into "the project of becoming a better human".
Perhaps we have replaced heavy workout and a stressful lifestyle, with yoga and meditation, but the mindset is still the same. We want to become a better version of ourselves. Perhaps a perfectly happy, harmonious and content person.
As the client said ~ When I think certain negative thoughts, I know they are not true, so I leave them and focus on something else instead.
That works, if we have dealt with the attached emotion of the thought. But if we havent seen and embraced the emotion, that certain thought will come back again and again, until we actually sit with the emotion. Emotions are not our enemies, they are keys and guides. They want to tell us something. They want to remind us of something. And if we avoid them, we will not feel the depth within because there is a part we constantly are avoiding.
I encourage people to sit with their emotions. Just sit with them. Dont analyze what they mean, dont try to identify them and dont try to change them. Just sit, in silence, with your own emotions. They will surprise you, and you will realize you can handle them. You dont need to run in order for them to go away, you dont need to eat, have sex, buy things you dont need or whatever it is that makes you feel better. Emotions are our friends once we embrace them. Softness is the key.
I believe that a certain drive and focus is needed to evolve. But in the end ~ acceptance, softness and surrender will make the lasting change we are longing for ~