Grief. Just the word itself is almost inappropriate on social media. Preferably not to be talked about and especially not on a platform where everything is supposed to be about joy, happiness and success.
In our part of the world grief is something that is supposed to be a quick middle station in between what was and what is coming. It shouldn’t take too long and it shouldn’t be too obvious and not disturb the ongoing joy, happiness and success, which seems to be the leading words of our time. We even have 5-step programs for grief in our society.
What I love so much about Ayurveda is the total allowance of the natural. Grief is a deep feeling, equally important as any other feeling and it affects the body as well as the mind and overall life energy of a person. Unprocessed it causes toxins in the body and mind, which can lead to other problems and symptoms later on.
Whether the grief comes from the loss of a friend, a family member, a soul connection, ancestral trauma, a life we dreamed of, or the grief of our own mistakes and downfalls, it is equally important and deserves equal treatment and care. I believe many of us are carrying unhealed grief in our hearts, which sometimes takes the form of exhaustion, lethargy, anxiety, anger or depression. And since we have such a limited view on grief, we also have limited capacities to help each other when we are grieving.
As always Ayurveda has many ways to support every emotional process, and the basics - meditation, yoga, self-massage and eating according to the imbalances is always recommended. This gives the body and mind some relief and creates a safe cocoon in which we can allow our feelings to flow naturally.
If we allow ourselves to feel the grief deeply, we give validation not only to the feeling but also to ourselves as human beings. In a way, we say to ourselves that we have the right to every emotion that passes our body. But when we cover up, distract ourselves and hide away from the grief and sadness, we also close the connection between our heart and mind. We develop a wall of protection.
I believe the first step to heal is to let the sadness in and embrace it instead of trying to fix ourselves. When something feels uncomfortable, our first reaction is often to try to correct the feeling or replace it with another feeling. But that is just a cover up. Healing takes place naturally and spontaneously in a safe place. A place of acceptance and allowance. There is nothing special we have to do to heal ourselves. We do it naturally if we just allow ourselves to feel.